Alec Baldwin decided not to retire his Emmy-winning President Trump impression after all,Belgium kicking off season 43 of Saturday Night Livewith a catch-all cold open that brought The Donald back from his important golf trip to deal with such national crises as ... disciplining a naughty little "bad boy" Jeff Sessions.

“Sometimes, when you’re president, you have to make sacrifices, so I skipped the back nine,” Baldwin-as-Trump said, greeting Aidy Bryant’s Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, who teed him up with a phone call from San Juan, Puerto Rico’s desperate mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz (Melissa Villaseñor).

“FEMA takes a few days, unless you join FEMA Prime,” Baldwin said, explaining away the administration’s highly criticized slow response to the crisis on the hurricane-ravaged island.

“I don’t know if you know this but you’re on an island, in the water, big ocean, with fishies and bubbles and turtles that bite,” he added, in reference to Trump’s incredibly profound ad-libbed remarks about Puerto Rican geography on Friday.

Baldwin’s Trump admitted that such turns of phrase -- and proxy wars against the National Football League -- are part of a larger plan to distract the public. Just as we feared.

“The more chaos I cause the less people can focus,” he said. “How long ago did I declare war on North Korea and little rocket man?”

Wait, an island??? #SNLPremiere pic.twitter.com/X0W5qQAro1

— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) October 1, 2017

Even Bryant’s Huckabee-Sanders couldn’t tell.

Kate McKinnon also made an appearance as embattled elf and Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

"I was a bad boy, Mr. Trump, very bad, very bad," she said, accepting blame for everything from the "Comey calamity" to Sessions’ opposition to Trump on DACA.

Apparently a spanking -- or worse, a tweetstorm-- would normally be in order in the SNLworld of Trump and Sessions, but our fair president has a soft spot for the disturbingly cute attorney general.

A word of warning from McKinnon, though: “I might look adorable but I’m frightening.”